Stacking Responsibilities/Opportunities

I had a meeting last night. The facilitator of the meeting and owner of the company asked those present to make a decision about being committed to the brand. 

In the past (and truthfully even now) decision making hasn't been my strong suit. I'm the type that gets in my head about decisions, thinking of a million and one ways a particular situation could go. It sometimes gets so bad that I end up "freezing" and decisions are made for me. 

Amidst conversation after the meeting I had an aha moment! 

I am a stacker when it comes to my responsibilities. Meaning, when new responsibilities and opportunities come instead of evaluating what I already have on my plate and determining if I can take on something new, I continue to add without regards to the old responsibilities. There is no shedding period, and ultimately no chance for newness. 

I got to thinking about why I stack so much leaving little room for the time or energy for the provisions that God has given me for my life's vision. And the answer that I came up with was simple...fear!

If I continue to stack on responsibilities and opportunities that aren't directly tied to my goals and dreams as an artist it will leave little to no room for me to have to actually create. As I type and read what I am typing, it seems so crazy! An artist that is afraid to do her own craft? It all goes back to my first post when I talked about the creative process. If I just have an awesome idea that never manifests into reality, I don't have to face the fear of not liking what I produce or not liking myself for producing art that I don't like.  

It can be quite complicated, as you can see. However, it is the truth. Am I the only creative mind that thinks this way? Perhaps, and perhaps not, but this is what this blog is about. An artists journey!

So it's really not about the decision that I need to make as a result of last night's meeting. Although, that will still need to be made. It is about making sure that I am not shorting myself or my destiny at the hands of someone else. That may sound really selfish, but it's more about making sure that my bucket is full to be able to dispense goodness to others. No one can give out of an empty decanter!

Corner of Gratitude:

Epiphanies

Pearls of Wisdom:
"A artist's duty is rather to stay open-minded and in a state where he can receive information and inspiration. You always have to be ready for that little artistic Epiphany."

~ Nick Cave

Your Thoughts:
Are you a stacker of responsibilities also? If so, how do you cope?

Until next time...